A Rare and Indescribeable Treat

Today, this day, July 27, 2009 has been declared a holiday in my household. (perhaps even the pontif himself has written it down in the official vatican archives) Officially it is dubbed as "Mom's Day Off", unofficially I refer to it as "I Get to Do What-the-fuck Ever I want to Do" day.

My darling, delightful, delectable husband has, for many months been saying to me, "I want to give you day off. You NEED a day off." My reply of course being muttered under breath rife with profanities. It just didn't seem feasible. An entire day wherein I am not in charge, not scheduling, not cleaning, not running errands. Impossible.

Much to my surprise, Ralph chose to use one of the many banked furlough days he has in store that our Governor has been kind enough to offer all his employees. ::dripping sarcasm::

Written in black ink on our dry erase calendar, the words called out to me for weeks...."Mom's Day Off". Furtively sneaking glances at the words, I dared allow myself a seed of hope & pondered the possibilities of a day off. A day to not be in charge of the children. A day to do what I'd like without interruption.

A day. Not hours. Not minutes. A day. An entire day.

I began this holiday by sleeping in until I could no longer avoid the call of nature. Glancing at the clock as I strode past, 8:45 a.m. ?! Wonderful! It gets better.

Upon return from the bathroom, Ralph presented me with a steaming cup of coffee & the television remote. I sipped coffee, read the paper & watched a Las Vegas rerun. After imagining several vile and debase fantasies involving myself and Josh Duhamel I decided to workout.

It was a strange, but fulfulling experience to be able to workout without my children asking questions like, "mommy, why is your face so red? Why are you breathing so hard? Why do you have that funny look on your face?" As I finished, Ralph informed me he was taking the children to get a tune up on the Envoy. I get to shower without tiny hands pounding on the glass?

Now here I sit, in a silent house, lingering over the peach/mango/orange smoothie I made for my breakfast. I've donned my bathing suit and plan to go outside and soak up all of the sun Bakersfield has to offer.

I wonder, wonder, wonder how I will ever thank my husband for this day.